Issue XVIII: Special Beverage
Grab ur lil drink, toads~
Letter from the Editor
Hello fellow toads,
It’s Toad Tuesday once again! As the holiday’s founder, I (as usual) demand that you treat yourself
With extra kindness and self-love; and
To a special beverage of some sort.
By kindness and self-love, I do *not* mean blind, complacent positivity either. Sometimes kindness means being a little tough on yourself *because* you love yourself and deserve to be taken care of!
For example, I always get mentally blocked when the dishwasher is clean and ready to be emptied and there are more dishes waiting in the sink. As soon as a task has more than one step and only affects me, it’s insurmountable for my crusty ole brain. But today, I said, “No! I deserve more than life in a dishpile!” and finally made myself do those damn dishes while I was waiting on a corndog in the convection oven. And it felt good! I still have several more house chore piles to deal with, but at least there’s not a gross stack of dishes leering at me from the kitchen now.
As far as special beverages go, I leave that one up to you, toads…but I will suggest maybe using your special beverage as an excuse to see a friend or parlay more with an interesting coworker. I personally have been making it a point to ask all my new coworkers to take me to their favorite coffee shops and give me a drink rec, and it’s been a great way to find new spots and get to know them a little bit more.
Anyways, thanks for hanging with me yet again and for always being receptive and giving me space to experiment here. I get a lil down some weeks and feel like I ought to just stop writing and drawing and spend all my free time working out until I become a fearsome hardbody, but having y’all out there keeps me motivated to at least make *something* every week.
Be a Social Butterfly
By Chutney Phoenix, Canine Couturier
Chutney here, hoping you’re all having a delicious summer. I know I am—I spent last week on my best gurl Devin’s superyacht eating prawns and licking hunks. I’m looking tanned and tasty.
One thing that is notttt tanned and tasty, tho, is having no friends, so ladygurls, I am HERE to give you my top tips for getting some of those.
Ask someone what the best thing they consumed in the last week was. Other people looooove talking about their faves. Sometimes they’ll also ask what your faves are and then buy you things, like when my gurl Elisabetta bought me my faaaaaave fave purse to stow my darling doghter Daphne in!
Practice chatting with people who you know you’ll probably never see again if you’re that type of cauious gurl who always wishes you could’ve had a rehearsal for everythinggggggg. You’ll be way more prepared during friendmaking situations if you keep your chat muscles toned in low-stakes scenarios. Tell that anecdote from your wild girls trip to Greece! You’ll probs not run into Random Starbucks Line Lady Number Four on the reg!
Decide who you are and what you like before you get out there. I purrrrsonally aim to keep three topics at top-of-mind in case I get bored and need a more interesting subject to chat about at any given time. Follow at least one popular TV show—like, all fun gurls usually watch The Bach. Duh! I try my best to work my backup topics into conversation naturally, like I might say “I was watching The Bachelorette where they go to Paris last week…immaculate rainy day vibes. Totally tea weather.” instead of just leading with “Do you watch The Bachelorette?” Bonus: A little extra detail gives your conversational partner more ins for their next remark!
If someone mentions an interest they’re like, clearlyyyyy really into and you don’t know much about it, don’t fear, darling! Instead of trying to pretend you’re the expert on what they’re talking about, drop an “Ooh, is that like the thing where you ride a horse and hit the ball with the little mallets? I don’t know much about it, that’s fascinating—where do you usually play?” Bad news if they’re total bores, so have your cell ready to fake an emergency just in case, kween.
Well, ladygurls, I’m back on vacay now, so byeeeeee and keep it hot and tight!
By Custard Whimbley, Professor of Literature
turning outward these days i feel like i'm unraveling splitting and spreading, billowing on the wind whisked away like silken spider web on a gentle breeze gossamer, my soul spills out between my ribs i love too much for one person but just enough for the world if you cup your hands you can catch it like rain settling into the shape of its container were you ever a gnat? a sea slug? a peat bog mummy? i am amorphous; i long only to unspool and touch palm to palm, and see that you're there too, you and you and you and to love everyone so much it overbrims, hot, wet and salty soaking the earth, too heavy to hold a grudge, light enough to float
Things I Consumed This Week
By M. McD, Editor-in-Chief
A cold brew from Quantum Bean in Morgantown
A passionfruit tea from Bubble Fish (also in Morgantown)
Mexican food from my fave lil place in Sabraton
Hot ginger peach tea with a heaping spoonful of Moon Flower Delta-8 Moon Honey (okay, fine, I did consume this one right before writing Toad Talk)
An iced rose latte from Divvy in Pittsburgh
Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
Three Taylor Swift albums in a row on a long drive into the sunset
If I had to pick one beverage and one thing to listen to while I ate it, I’d pick the ginger peach tea and Mansfield Park…they’re simply the best pairing.
By Merv Barton
Been close to twenny years since I got this property ,
one o them guys up at the mill, he says to me
Merv I hear that farmer up there’s sellin off that piece o
I says jim you’re kiddin that s a beautiful piece of property up ere
so I go right out to see about it
Back in those times, wasn’t no one else out here yet, ,
The real country
So I drove up an I seen the farmer an I says
I hear is property’s for sale is that correct
he says yessir
Wasn’t a month fore we moved out here
An alls you see on this property I built with my own two hands
well I kept ya too long better get back inside fore our program starts
Maybe watch some more of that YouTube or tool around
In da garage later have a good one
an I’ll try to behave