Issue XIII: Grandma
She loves horsesssss and America tooooo
Hello fellow toads,
A joyous Toad Tuesday to you all!
I’ve been attempting to get my garden going (tomatoes: coming in), make my house cat-friendly, and prep my new website for launch. (I’ll send y’all a link to check it out when I’m finally done, of course.)
I’m also going to have to share some pictures of the corn sign I got volunteered to make for the farm and feed store. I still have a second side of that to finish, though, so next week, my warty comrades!
This Tuesday, we’re keeping things brief…without further ado…
By Maggie “She’s Sure My Grandma” McDonald-Jack
Hi kids, meet my grandma! We came across this charming picture of her while cleaning out my great grandma’s old garage.
My mom said she and Grandma first spotted the picture a few months ago. Grandma exclaimed, “I don’t know where you found that old picture of me!” then they left it for the next person to discover.
We rustled it up again when we were attempting to do some sorting while the plumber was in last week. “Oh, here’s Grandma!” said my mother. “Ah, Grandma,” I said, “what a sultry pose”. Grandma was wearing a real dynamite bullet bra, which pointed straight up towards the collection of horse statuettes enshrined on a shelf above her.
A few hours later, I passed the photo along to Addie, who we thought would find it amusing. She looked at it for a bit and slipped it back into my purse.
The next morning, it came up again. Addie and I had a lot of comments. “What really got me were all those horses—I had no idea she was such a horse girl.” “Yeah, and that pose, that’s so not Grandma.” “Horses? What?” said my mother, puzzled. So we whipped the photo back out.
Mothman slid her glasses on. “That’s not Grandma! That’s Uncle Manny’s ex-girlfriend, Sue Jack!” she exclaimed. “She must’ve sent him that while he was in the Marines. Grandma and I both forgot our glasses the day we found it before. That’s a real Ann Margret pose.”
Hail Grandma Jack!
By Lady Marguerite Grey, Cartoonist-at-Large
By Merv Barton
big doins down the lodge
Got the fish fry comin up this week
You seen my shirt.,,.got a big Muskie on it
Caught one of em before, real big fella nasty teeth n that
better come down the lodge fore we run out, real big doins, word spreads fast
Thank s see you soon
All the best,